Truths You Learn from Children

I went to my grandson's birthday party this afternoon. He turns three on Monday -- just getting to the age where he'll teach his mom and dad important truths like these:


[I've had these for about 10 years, so I have no idea who to thank for sharing them.]
1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a Superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20’ room.
3. Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
4. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up several times before you get a hit.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
6. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long ways.
7. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
8. A 6-year-old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 6o-year-old man says it can only be done in the movies.
9. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
10. If you use a waterbed as a home plate while wearing baseball shoes, it does not leak. It explodes.
11. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. ft. house almost 4" deep.
12. You probably don’t want to know what that odor is.
13. Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
14. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
15. The fire department in San Diego has at least a 5-minute response.
16. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
17. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
18. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
19. A good sense of humor will get you through most problems in life.


Happy Birthday, Chase!