An American Tourist Meets a Mexican Fisherman

[The following story found its way to my inbox sometime during the past several years. The sender forwarded it as "Anonymous", and I regret not being able to credit the author.]

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Mexican."

But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, play the guitar, and sing a few songs...I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well, my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" said the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings doing what you like and enjoying your friends."

Moral:

Know where you're going in life...you may already be there.

Quiet Words Better Than a Shout

Periodically, I attend an event sponsored by our congregation's prayer ministry called "Prayer Tea". One of the highlights of this particular event a ritual in which tea bags are distributed that have scriptures printed on the tags. It's much more fascinating than Chinese fortune cookies. I'm always intrigued by the particular scriptures that find their way into my possession. Last Saturday's was no exception. It read:

The quiet words of a wise man are better than the shout of a king of fools.

-- Ecclesiastes 9:17 TLB

This proverb speaks several things to me. First of all, I notice the attention given to volume. Quiet vs. loud. Isn't it true that as things get quieter around us, we tend to quiet ourselves to match our surroundings? I used to employ this tactic when my children were much smaller and I would notice that they were getting wound a little too tight. As I deliberately slowed my pace and softened my voice, they would often cue off my behavior and follow suit, settling down. The reverse principle is also true -- get louder and those around you probably will too.

But I'm more focused on the aspect of wise words spoken quietly. If the words one speaks are indeed words of wisdom, then these words will stand on their merit. No need to shove them down another's throat, demanding that our words be heard or heeded. He will show himself wise or foolish soon enough. If he chooses to follow the good advice, things will turn out well for him, and he will see the wisdom. However, if he choses not to heed the words, then things will turn out badly, but he will nevertheless understand, in hindsight, that the words were truth.

This suggests that I can let go of any insistance that others listen to me when I "know" I am right. My "wisdom" will be borne out soon enough. No need to control the outcome of the situation. I can be gentle but firm. And above all I can relax when my advice is disregarded. (Actually, since things I've learned the hard way have tended to really stick with me, then when someone doesn't act on a bit of good advice and experiences difficulty, chances are good that he'll learn something.)

But this verse indicates that the best bet is to value the quiet, wise words. Other proverbs confirm that it isn't necessary to go through the school of hard knocks. We are free to quiet ourselves in the presence of good words spoken softly, and then to heed the words.

Now that's wisdom.

Now That's One B-i-i-i-i-g Bunny!

When I saw the notice in my inbox that Snopes had a big bunny photo, I followed my curiosity to their site. I wasn't really prepared for this, though. Could hardly believe my eyes! Check out the story on Herr Hare, a German Giant, as well as another amazing 1999 Flemish Giant from Scotland (who's even larger!).

April 15th Deadline

Yes, today is the deadline. But not the deadline you may be thinking of. My April 15th deadline has nothing to do with the IRS or filing my taxes.

Back in the middle of January, my husband and I had just begun an eight-week marriage class. One of our first assignments was for each of us to identify behaviors that caused us to experience a dip in "that lovin' feelin' " toward the other. (The rationale being that these behaviors are especially counterproductive in a marriage, to the point of diminishing the impact of all the wonderful and good things we do for the other.) I had to admit that for me to eliminate the No. 1 Negative Behavior my husband identified would not only benefit him, but my family and friends as well. It would also result in me having more peace in my life. A definite win-win.

The worksheet instructed me to make a written commitment to eliminate the negative behavior and to give myself a time frame for accomplishing this objective. I considered three months a reasonable period to work on this problem, after which, should the problem prove to be greater than I can resolve alone, I would seek professional help. As I completed the worksheet, I realized that three months would end on April 15th, which serendipitously added heft to the seriousness of my agreement.

What was the negative behavior, you ask? (I knew you were more than a little curious.) I committed to being on time for appointments and activities. No small commitment for someone who has had a problem being prompt since junior high. A character defect for sure. I'd made a project of overcoming it in the past several years, but hadn't actually succeeded. That is, until the author of our marriage class materials challenged me to ante up and put a deadline in writing for achieving mastery, and to commit to get help if I don't succeed on my own within the allotted time frame.

So here I am on my self-appointed Judgment Day pondering whether I've really achieved my goal of mastery or if I've somehow just papered over the problem. This evening I asked my husband for his assessment, and he made some positive comments. However, the proof of the pudding will be in the eating. (I looked it up: that's how the phrase actually goes. Was used in 1615 by Miguel de Cervantes in Don Quixote. I was more familiar with the subsequently shortened but mutant version of the expression, "the proof is in the pudding", but I digress...)

I feel a bit shaky now that my trial period is over. I lack absolute confidence that I have indeed replaced, baby step by baby step, my old patterns with healthier and more productive new patterns. Those old patterns were so well-worn and familiar. And the new is so, well....new. And therein lies the difficulty. Since people tend to revert to the old and familiar when stressors mount, I'm concerned that my best-laid plans will fall by the way-side under pressure.

But I need not fear. All I really need to do is continue to practice what I have learned during these past 90 days. It's sorta like those finger exercises my son played over and over on the piano to strengthen his fingers so that one day he could fly through those Chopin pieces. (Which he eventually did!) I too am strengthening weak "muscles" in order to eventually fly through my day's schedule without skipping any beats.

The lessons I needed to learn in order to make promptness my new pattern?

(To all of you for whom time management is a breeze: Please don't say "Duh!" so loud that I can hear you here in Columbia, OK? Thanks.)

• Being on time for an appointment starts about 24 hours earlier. I have to begin thinking about the things I need to do to be prepared for that activity or meeting well in advance. It means exchanging my fun-loving, spontaneous and spur-of-the-moment mindset for one that looks ahead further and makes plans. It doesn't seem as enjoyable on the surface, but in actuality is so much less stressful as I'm trying to get out of the house or while I'm driving to the appointment and hoping against hope that I'll make all the lights, that it's well worth the sacrifice.
• I CANNOT OVERSTUFF MY SCHEDULE!! I have come to see that just like the dresser drawer that has too many clothes crammed in it, my days and weeks have also been jammed full. I know, I know...I'm responsible for this. But I couldn't figure out how to thin things out until these past three months. (Yay for me!) I may not accomplish as much in this new mode, but what I do get done will be done with more peace. This blesses me. And everyone around me. Who knows -- if the greater peacefulness extends my years, it may come out equal after all...
• Keeping the surface of my desk clear is huge. I'm not exactly sure why, but it helps me stay ahead of the game. I think it's because there are fewer distractions to get me sidetracked from what needs to be done now in order to be ready for what's next. (Keeping other surfaces clear, such as the kitchen counters, the dining table and buffet, my dresser, provide tail wind too.)
• It's important to respect the commodity of time. Those of us who struggle with time management are notorious (so I understand) for underestimating how long it actually takes to do things. For instance, I have been known to spout "Oh, that'll only take me x minutes to finish" or "I'll be ready in x minutes" or, worse, "I'll be done in just a second." When I make one of these false assertions my kids will often unobtrusively roll their eyes or my husband will give me that look of unbelief. It is delusional for me to maintain that I can cram bank-box-sized tasks into shoebox-sized periods of time. I'm making an effort to state a more realistic estimate.
• AND, last but certainly not least, I need to adhere to my bedtime. Another matter of respect, but in this instance respect for my 53-year-old body and mind that need consistent rest to function optimally under the stressors that lie beyond my control.

I am not aiming for perfection here, but neither am I accommodating the excuses I've made in the past for my problem. Join me in a pep rally style cheer as I commit to continue practicing the new attitudes and behaviors that will ensure success: Go-o-o-o-o-o-o, Linda!

Getting What We Deserve

From Lori Borgman, April 12th:

We are a people concerned with getting what we deserve.

We deserve child care, health care, good schools, good jobs, easy commutes and a comfortable retirement.

We deserve smoke-free air, a strong stock market, happiness in our marriages and children who always remember our birthdays.

Lobbying groups and professional organizations around the country exist solely for the purpose of seeing that we get what we deserve. Well, that and to line their pockets in the process.

When you listen closely, you hear the many things we deserve sprinkled throughout conversations: We deserve our money’s worth. We deserve to be treated respectfully. We deserve good customer service.

Click here to read more.

Frolicsome Polar Bears

Information vs. Knowledge

I'd like to share something I discovered on Eric Swanson's blog while surfing this morning: I read an explanation authored by Laurence Prusak on the difference between information and knowledge. He speaks some solid truth on the matter.

Over the River and Through the Woods...

My parents live just outside St. Louis, about 120 miles from our home, so we are able to visit fairly often. Last Sunday, we went over to hang out with them for several hours before heading to the airport to pick up my husband after dinner. "We", in this instance, was me, my 16 year old son, and my 13 year old daughter.

As we were nearing their home, I had a little attack of the zanies and thought: Why not make a whole bunch of little notes and hide them in my parents' home for them to find one at a time after we leave? Just for the fun of it.

I bounced the idea off the kids, whose response was, well -- not exactly eager. But they agreed, being known to humor me on schemes like this. So I pulled into a Walgreens only a couple blocks from the folks' house, bought a box of little decorative note papers, some colored gel pens, and a package of stickers. Then we headed to a McDonalds, ordered a light bite, and wrote silly notes.

To their credit, the kids really let themselves get drawn into the activity and came up with some of the most clever notes. I especially liked "When I grow up I want to be a billboard" and "I once was lost, but now am found..." and "Next time, you hide and I'll seek." There were famous lines from movies, clever quips, and silly nonsense. In all, we penned about 50 of the little missives.

But that wasn't the best part. No, the best part was hiding the notes without being discovered. It was a hoot! We decided to locate the stash in the pocket of my jacket which hung on a peg in the hallway. We would then walk past the jacket at various intervals, lift a few of the prepared notes, then sneak them into places we thought would be discovered over the next few days, weeks and months. There are a couple of notes that may not turn up for several years. We'll see...

The kids got more and more into the game the longer we played. Several times I'd think of a clever hiding spot only to find that the kids had already beat me to it! We came close to being discovered before we left, but fortunately they didn't lift or open any of the objects while we were still there. I'm not going to reveal the actual hiding places because my mom reads my blog : ) , but you could probably guess a whole bunch of them. Then again, maybe we were indeed clever...

My mom recalled the telltale signs of our clandestine operation after the fact. She had asked my daughter twice during our visit if she'd like to play games on Grandpa's computer, thinking her milling around meant she was bored. Of course, she later realized the behavior was due to our little game. We got a phone call on the second day. Seems it took finding more than just one note to figure out they'd been the objects of our caper. When I said they had about 48 to go, well...

Next time you're invited over to a good friend's or a family member's home, perhaps you'd like to hide lighthearted notes too. Extend your visit without actually overstaying your welcome. And you might even find yourself smiling as you think about them for days or weeks afterward too.

Let the games begin!

March of the Penguins

Last night, on the very last day of March, I watched "March of the Penguins" on video. I had hoped to see it on a big screen, but alas, I missed it.

If you'd like to be amused, touched, amazed and inspired -- check it out, if you haven't already. That these creatures do the things they do year after year after year is nearly beyond belief! The narration by Morgan Freeman is the cherry on top.

A review from Urban Cinefile Critics: "A miracle of a film, March of the Penguins is one of the year's joys. This extraordinary glimpse into the life of the emperor penguins is far more than a story of survival: it is a unique love story of immense proportions. "

To add to your incredulity, focus in on the credits at the end of the film. Wow.