Permission Granted
Yesterday, I was discussing with a friend my progress on New Year's Resolution #2. You know... the one I told you all about a couple months ago (Archives, Jan. 12th): regularly going to bed at my chosen bedtime.
I was telling her that my performance on this resolution is still spotty. In discussing my struggle, I commented that I view time as a commodity and that each of us has exactly the same amount of this commodity at our disposal. My problem is that I simply have not been "spending" my hours according to my predetermined plan.
Then she asked a key question: "What is it that you want to have in exchange for the time you spend doing things after your bedtime?" Made me think. It seems that I have difficulty on days that are crammed too full with meetings, duties, appointments, and work. At bedtime, I end up feeling sort of "recreationally deprived" and don't feel ready to hit the sack. This is especially true if I have several of these overstuffed days in a row.
I'm an otter at heart, and I am learning to accept the reality that a modicum of play is fairly essential to my well-being. As I continued analyzing my spotty performance, I realized that when I veer off my plan, about three out of four times it's to do something recreational (writing falls in this category; so does reading). It's after having some "just-for-me-time" that I can relax. (The other 25% of the time I'm usually trying to finish a project promised by a deadline.) So here's the exchange I realize I have been settling for: I'm trading much needed restorative and regenerative sleep for a feeling of rejuvenation and refreshment derived from doing my favorite fun stuff. Appears that I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul...
Her next question: "Why not give yourself permission to put work aside before bedtime and schedule in your play so that you can still get to bed and have some recreation?"
I realize that this is not rocket science and that you're probably thinking "DUH!" But it was very helpful to have someone look at my stuckness from another perspective and give me an additional handle on it. This old, old pattern of staying up late seems to be harder to change than I initially imagined. I have a deeply ingrained habit to stuff my days too full.
So, tonight I will close up shop an hour before bedtime and do something I truly enjoy. Since I'm the adult here, and no one's going to do this for me, I DO HEREBY GRANT MYSELF PERMISSION TO PLAY BETWEEN 9 AND 10 P.M.
And I will put this affirmation on a couple sticky notes and place them in a couple of strategic spots and repeat it often for as long as necessary. When I realize that the shift has occurred internally and I have achieved consistency, I think I'll throw myself a party (very otter-y of me, do'ntcha think?) to declare and celebrate the transformation!
And I promise to end it and have everything cleaned up by 10 p.m.
I was telling her that my performance on this resolution is still spotty. In discussing my struggle, I commented that I view time as a commodity and that each of us has exactly the same amount of this commodity at our disposal. My problem is that I simply have not been "spending" my hours according to my predetermined plan.
Then she asked a key question: "What is it that you want to have in exchange for the time you spend doing things after your bedtime?" Made me think. It seems that I have difficulty on days that are crammed too full with meetings, duties, appointments, and work. At bedtime, I end up feeling sort of "recreationally deprived" and don't feel ready to hit the sack. This is especially true if I have several of these overstuffed days in a row.
I'm an otter at heart, and I am learning to accept the reality that a modicum of play is fairly essential to my well-being. As I continued analyzing my spotty performance, I realized that when I veer off my plan, about three out of four times it's to do something recreational (writing falls in this category; so does reading). It's after having some "just-for-me-time" that I can relax. (The other 25% of the time I'm usually trying to finish a project promised by a deadline.) So here's the exchange I realize I have been settling for: I'm trading much needed restorative and regenerative sleep for a feeling of rejuvenation and refreshment derived from doing my favorite fun stuff. Appears that I'm robbing Peter to pay Paul...
Her next question: "Why not give yourself permission to put work aside before bedtime and schedule in your play so that you can still get to bed and have some recreation?"
I realize that this is not rocket science and that you're probably thinking "DUH!" But it was very helpful to have someone look at my stuckness from another perspective and give me an additional handle on it. This old, old pattern of staying up late seems to be harder to change than I initially imagined. I have a deeply ingrained habit to stuff my days too full.
So, tonight I will close up shop an hour before bedtime and do something I truly enjoy. Since I'm the adult here, and no one's going to do this for me, I DO HEREBY GRANT MYSELF PERMISSION TO PLAY BETWEEN 9 AND 10 P.M.
And I will put this affirmation on a couple sticky notes and place them in a couple of strategic spots and repeat it often for as long as necessary. When I realize that the shift has occurred internally and I have achieved consistency, I think I'll throw myself a party (very otter-y of me, do'ntcha think?) to declare and celebrate the transformation!
And I promise to end it and have everything cleaned up by 10 p.m.
posted by Linda at
2:50 PM
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